Wreck-It Ever After
by AlisonWonderland51
Summary: It's Fix-It Felix and Sgt. Calhoun's wedding day! All their friends are coming, Ralph is the best man, Vanellope is the maid of honor. And everything's going to be just perfect. Wouldn't be an absolute shame if ten thousand things were to wrong?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: The rough draft of this chapter was initially put up, I now have the more polished version. There are minor differences, but the spelling and grammar should (mostly) be correct in this one.**

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Chapter 1

Vanellope knocked on the door of Sgt. Calhoun's dressing room and asked, "Can I come in?"

"Go ahead, it's open," Calhoun replied. She had just put on her wedding veil and was checking herself for any imperfections in the mirror.

Vanellope opened up the door and went in. The princess-turned-president was wearing her poofy pink princess dress, it _was_ the only piece of formalwear she owned after all. "Lemme see you!" Vanellope was eager to see the normally brutal sergeant dressed like a lady for once. Calhoun turned to Vanellope and smiled at her. Vanellope examined Calhoun decked out in her white dress and simply commented, "Sleeveless? Really?"

Calhoun's face dropped. She looked down at her dress and then back at Vanellope. "What? What's wrong with sleeveless?"

"I don't know. Aren't you like in your late twenties?" Vanellope said. "I mean, you're making a commitment to a guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. You're not some 18-year-old stupidly marrying the guy who've been going out with six months, but marrying him anyway because 'you know he's the one!'"

"Look, shut up!" Calhoun snapped. "Is everything ready?"

"Almost! I got Sour Bill at the door checking off who's here. We're still waiting on a few people."

Meanwhile, near the door, Felix, dressed for his big day, approached Sour Bill. Bill was looking down at that checklist of the guests. "Um, Mr. Sour Bill, sir?" Felix said.

"Hmmm?" Sour Bill replied.

"The ceremony's supposed to start soon, any word on where Ralph is?" asked Felix.

"Hasn't shown up yet. He'll probably be here soon. I'll tell you when he arrives," Sour Bill informed him.

"Oh… I'll just go and wait then…" Felix began walking away, but then turned back. "Has my dad shown up yet?"

Sour Bill sighed and said, "No! _Stop asking!_"

Vanellope had gone to wait by the door, when Ralph finally walked through the church doors. "So, he _finally_ decides to show up for his best friend's wedding, huh?" Vanellope teasingly asked.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Ralph apologized, rolling his eyes. "I couldn't find a suit in my size, I had to borrow one."

"Who'd you borrow it from?" asked Vanellope.

"Donkey Kong," Ralph replied. "That's why it took me so long to get here. I had to take it to the cleaners."

"Ew… Well all is forgiven in that case! We should go let everyone know you're here."

Meanwhile, Felix was in the hallway on the pay-phone the church had. He was nervously twisting his finger around the phone cord as he listened to the ringing on the other end. No one was picking up it seemed. Finally, an answering machine got it. It said: "Hi! You've reached the Fix-Its! Sorry we can't come to the phone. Leave a message."

"Um, hi mom, hi dad," Felix began the message. "Just wanted to know if you were going to, you know, show up to mine and Tamora's wedding. It's today! So, um, just come on over! You were invited after all!" Felix sighed and hung up the phone. "Guess I should see if Ralph's here yet…"

Vanellpe and Ralph went to tell Sour Bill that Ralph was there and everything could get started. "Bill, Ralph's here! Let's get this wedding on the road!"

"Can't," Sour Bill bluntly replied.

"Can't? Well, why the heck not?!" Vanellope asked, becoming frustrated.

"The church double-booked," Sour Bill explained. "And they decided that the wedding comes second."

"The church double-…" Vanellope was trying comprehend the idiocy of what was just said to her. When it finally went through, both her and Ralph groaned and buried their faces in their palms. "Bill, you tell Felix and Sarge," Vanellope said. "Because… I can't! I-I _simply can't_!" Vanellope stomped off. This was literally the dumbest thing she ever heard.

A little later, Sour Bill had explained the situation to Sgt. Calhoun. Who's response was, "**You are kidding me.**"

Sour Bill sighed, "No, sadly I am not."

"So, we're the one's that have to wait, huh?" Calhoun asked.

"Mm-hm."

"How long's the wait?"

"Um, we don't know," Sour Bill told her. "I'll tell you as soon as the priest shows up."

"_The priest isn't even here yet?!_" Calhoun shouted in disbelief.

"Nope," Bill said. "Sorry, ma'am. I'll go tell Felix." Sour Bill walked out, while Calhoun put her hand to her face and sighed.

Sour Bill found Felix in the hallway talking with Ralph. Once Felix was informed of the delay, his reaction was quite similar to everyone else's. "**You're kidding me!**" he shouted. "W-well, what's the other booking?"

"Candlehead's baptism," Sour Bill replied.

"…Candlehead's a christian?" Ralph asked, slightly baffled.

"Mm-hm."

"Well!" Felix shouted, his voice beginning to break. "Happiest day of my life ruined!" Felix turned and banged his head on the wall out of frustration.

"I will never understand why romance is such a big deal to everyone…" Sour Bill said.

"Oh, really?" Ralph questioned, smirking a bit. "Even though Vanellope's told me she's seen you out in the Game Central Station eyeing a certain someone?"

Sour Bill's face flushed. "Th-that is a _completely_ different situation!" he said, rather defensively. Ralph couldn't help but to chuckle.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Vanellope just happened to be walking by Calhoun's dressing room when Calhoun walked out. "Vanellope," she said. "Where's Felix?"

"He was with Ralph and Bill last I saw him," Vanellope replied. "But isn't it bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding?"

"Yup, I don't really care right now," Calhoun passively commented as she walked off to find her finace.

Though Felix wasn't with Ralph and Sour Bill anymore. Ralph and Bill were sitting near the door. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?" Ralph asked Sour Bill.

"For the last time! No! I don't want to talk about it!" Sour Bill snapped at him.

"Come on! Might make you feel better about it," Ralph told him.

"Hey!" Calhoun called to Ralph and Bill as she walked up to them. "Where's Felix? Vanellope said he was over here."

"Oh, he went to make a phone call or something," Ralph replied.

"He _still _can't get a hold of his parents?" Calhoun asked, shocked.

"Nope!" said Ralph. Calhoun sighed and walked off to go try and find Felix.

Just then, Vanellope scurried up to Ralph. "Hey, Ralph," she said. "Is it okay if I invite the other Sugar Rush Racers to the ceremony and reception?"

"What? No!" Ralph told her. "This isn't like party, you can't just invite whoever you want."

"Oh..." Vanellpe said, disappointed. "Well, I kind of already did, I assumed you'd say yes."

Ralph groaned. "Darn it, Vanellope..."

"Okay! Okay! I'll tell you all about her!" Sour Bill shouted out of nowhere.

"Alright! _Finally!_" said Ralph. "Who is this girl?"

"...You know Pinky from Pac-Man?" asked Sour Bill.

"...Wait, _what?_" asked Vanellope.

Meanwhile, Felix was up by the pay-phone, and once again, just got the answering machine. "Um, mom, dad! It's Felix again! The ceremony was delayed, so there's still time. You can still make it! So, just come on over!" Felix hung up, feeling rejected and confused. Sure, his father was always the traditionalist type, perhaps not happy with his taste in women. But happy or not, surely he wouldn't miss _his own son's wedding_.

"Felix? You in here?" Calhoun walked into the hallway. Felix turned and saw Calhoun, he quickly ran up to her.

"Tammy! Honey, sweetie, I'm sorry!" Felix said to her, taking a hold of her hands. "I know you wanted today to be perfect."

"Felix, honey bunch, _it's_ you I'm worried about," Calhoun said, leaning down to be able to look him in the eyes.

"Don't be worried about me!" Felix said. "I wanted today to be perfect for you since... You know." Calhoun realized he was referring to her bad experiences in the past. She sighed and nodded, all she could do was apologize. "Speaking of which, is you platoon ready?"

"Armed and ready," she replied. "Hey, let's go back with Wreck-It and Vanellope and just wait this out, what do you say? And hey, maybe your parents have showed up."

"Ha, well, that would explain why they're not picking up." Felix smiled at his soon-to-be wife, and they started to make their way back to the main hallway together.

While they were on their way back, Sour Bill was pouring his heart out to Ralph and Vanellope. "All I want her to do is notice me, but I can never talk to her! So all I can do is stare like some kind of creep! What is _wrong_ with me?! Oh God, I'll be alone forever!"

"Well, that's probably true," Vanellope commented.

"Vanellope!" Ralph shushed her.

"I'm so pitiful!" Sour Bill sobbed.

"Uh, what's going on over here?" Felix asked as he and Calhoun walked up.

"I'm bored and Ralph's listening to Bill be pitiful," Vanellope said in mildly irritated tone.

Just then, Taffyta came running over to Vanellope and said, "Vanellope! Come on! The priest is here and they're starting Candlehead's baptism."

"The priest is here?!" asked Felix, him and Calhoun's faces brightened up.

"Yup!" Taffyta replied. She grabbed Vanellope's hand and pulled her along.

"Well, hey, the priest is here, that's something, right?" said Ralph. "Only took him an hour and a half..."

"Oh, um, by the way," said Sour Bill. "We were going over the catering for the reception and...the cake isn't here yet."

Ralph, Felix, and Calhoun groaned simultaneously. "Why? Why? Why?!" Felix shouted. "I thought we had this all organized!"

"Felix, honey, calm down!" Calhoun ordered. "It'll get here eventually."

"Also, Vanellope kind of invited all the other racers from her game," Ralph told them. "And Gene, Q*Bert, Pac-Man, Zangief, and Sonic aren't here."

"Oh my God..." Calhoun sighed. "Wait. Sonic, really? How does_ he _have a hard time getting here?!"

"Oh, and just to let you know Felix," said Sour Bill. "Uh, your parents still aren't here."

"_Ugh!_" Felix groaned.

"Honey, it's not that bad!" Calhoun said to him. "Your dad's game is all the way on the other side of the arcade, he's on a completely different surge protector. It's difficult to travel like that."

"He promised he'd get here!" Felix shouted, sounding uncharacteristically angry. "Mom said she'd love to come, but knowing my dad, he'll probably be the control-freak that he is and not let her!"

"Felix, baby, calm yourself!" Calhoun leaned down to his level. "Why wouldn't your dad come to his own son's wedding?"

"Because...because..." Felix was reluctant to tell Calhoun the reason.

"...Yes?" Calhoun was getting suspicious. "Felix is there something you're not telling me?"

Felix sighed and figured it's best if her explained. "My father's a bit prejudice of some of the newer games. Says that the new CGI high resolution games are 'disgracing' the old 8-Bit games like him or me. He thinks they're 'trying too hard'. So, needless to say, he's not exactly happy with my choice to make you my wife."

Without missing a beat, Calhoun bluntly replied, "You know, Felix, I'm starting to not like your dad."

"And I'm starting to agree with you!" Felix said, with obvious irritation in his voice. "I mean, first of all, he's wrong! 8-Bit games are respected and are considered classics. People find them charming and even timeless. So what's all this 'disgracing' newer games are doing?! Thinks I'm shaming the family by marrying you! Well, _he's_ making _me _ashamed of _him_ by not acting like a an _adult_ and getting past his silly prejudice and see his _only son_ get married!" Though she didn't think she had ever seen Felix so worked up, Calhoun found it rather sweet of him to be defending her like this. "The least he could do is show up! It's not like I need another screw up to add to the fiasco that has been today! The church double-booked, which... I'm still not sure how that happened! The priest shows up an hour late, and they make _us _wait! What was the priest even doing?! What did he have to do?! And to top it all off, our wedding cake isn't here yet! We do nothing but give and help people, and the second _we_ need something, no one can do a darn thing about it! Why can't one tiny thing today go right?! Why?!" Felix finally stopped to breath. Everyone was looking at them with their jaws gaping and eyes wide open.

"...Wow," Sour Bill commented.

Calhoun was taken aback a bit by Felix's forcefulness, but on the other hand, she quite enjoyed it... "Felix," she said, sounding rather surprised. "I've never seen you so..._aggressive_."

Felix snapped out of his outrage, and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to–"

Calhoun cut him off right there. "No, I like it!" she said, with a hint of excitement in her voice. "You sounded so...forceful." Calhoun then wrapped her arms around her groom-to-be and gave an enticing smile.

Felix smirked and could just tell what was going on with her. "You...like it?" he asked.

"Oh, you bet I do..." Calhoun said in a breathy voice. Without warning, she slammed her lips against his. Felix was shocked at first, but soon just put his arms around her and kissed back.

"Alright, alright!" Ralph shouted as and separated the two from each other. "Save it for the honeymoon!"

"S-sorry..." Felix apologized.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Okay, is Candlehead's baptism over?" asked Felix.

"Mm-hm," Sour Bill replied.

"Is the priest ready?" Felix asked.

"Yup," Bill told him.

"Are Ralph and Vanellope ready?"

"They are."

"Is everyone here? ...Except for my parents, of course."

"Yes, sir."

"Hey, Felix!" Ralph called out. "The cake just got here!"

"What timing!" said Felix. "Looks like everything's just ready! I better get up to the altar then. Bill, you can go sit down, thank you for your service! And I hope things work out with that lady friend you can't seem to talk to."

"...Thanks," Sour Bill flatly said as he went to go sit in the very back pew of the church.

"Alright, Ralph, let's get up there," Felix said with tense sigh.

"You nervous?" Ralph asked him.

"Little bit..." Felix admitted. "I'll be fine though! You go on ahead, I'll be there."

"Well, hurry up, you've waited long enough," Ralph said to him with a friendly smile. Ralph then left the main hall to take his place. Felix stayed in the hall for a moment to try and calm his nerves a little.

The double doors opened up, and in came a little lady all dressed up for the wedding. She looked around until her eyes fell upon Felix. Felix turned and once he saw her, his shoulders dropped and his eyes widened. "...Mom?" he said.

"Felix!" the lady cried out. It was indeed Felix's mother, from the original Fix-It Felix game on the other side of the arcade. She ran up and gave her son a hug and then a kiss on the cheek. "Sweetie pie, I'm so proud of you!" she said to him.

"Aw, mom," Felix said, just so happy she could make it. "Where's dad?"

Felix's mother rolled her eyes and told him, "You father didn't want to see his own son get married it seemed. I really don't see what the big deal about you marryin' a high definition gal is! He tried to keep me from coming, but your mama doesn't give in that easy!"

All Felix could do was smile, so glad today had worked out after all. "Thank you for coming after all, mom! After what I've been through today, it just means so much to see you."

"Glad I could be here, honeybun." She hugged Felix again. "Besides, I wanna meet this gal you're gettin' hitched to! From the way you described her in your letters, she sounds like quite a catch! Probably gives you the honey glows somethin' awful!" she teased.

"Oh, come on, mom!" Felix said. The mere way he was smiling gave his mother the answer she needed. "Look, we really gotta get this wedding on the road, so I have to get up to the altar before Tammy comes out. Why don't you take a seat right up front next to the Nicelanders, that way you can see everything."

"Okay, I will!" his mom said with a grin. "I'll see you up there, sugarcube." Felix's mother went around the side and up to the front pew. Felix went down the center aisle and took his place at the alter.

Felix sighed, untangling the rest of his nerves. He glanced over and saw his mother beaming at him. He looked out into the crowd of people, practically half the arcade there just to see him and Calhoun.

The organ music started up, of course playing 'Here Come the Bride'. Everyone's attention turned to Sgt. Tamora Calhoun, with a bouquet in her hands, walking down the aisle, looking happy as be. She was unaccompanied, as she had decided to walk down by herself, no matter how many of the men in the platoon had offered to do the honor. She stepped up next to Felix and they both couldn't help but to lightly chuckle, just a reflex of how relieved they were that this was finally happening.

The priest began reading off... whatever it is the preacher reads during a wedding, and Felix and Calhoun were having a hard time grasping they were finally getting married. Everyone there had variations on when they started to tear up. Some started crying randomly midway through, or in Felix's mother's case, toward the beginning. But most began to shed some tears when reaching the end when the priest said, "Do you, Fix-It Felix, Jr. take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

And Felix responded, "I do." Felix's mother's just couldn't stop crying and smiling.

"Do you, Tamora Calhoun, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the priest continued.

Calhoun replied, trying not to break out into tears, "I do..." It was then, her entirely platoon cocked their guns and pointed them towards the window. No cybugs were messing up their sergeant's wedding.

"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the the bride," the priest said.

Felix took his wife hand and gracefully pulled her down into a dip. They at last shared the loving kiss they had been waiting for. Everyone cheered for the happy couple, married at last. It was then Ralph finally let the tears go...

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**I've been comedically torturing these characters for two chapters, I had to give them a chapter wear everything worked out. Unfortunately, no suffering means not much comedy. I mean, I'm sure you can write comedy without anyone being tormented, but I certainly can't (I'm a bit of a sadist). Don't worry, next chapter (and also the last chapter) I will torment these guys endlessly! :D**


End file.
